Intimacy, a note I found in my journal.

When will I ever learn that intimacy is not love? That the taste of your lips against mine again is not romance? For I do not miss the days when I was young and naive to this idea. It’s worse as you grow up and recognize that a body can fall effortlessly into yours without a care, that a body connection is the easiest form of love. But what is real love? For the 20 year old me it was not this conversation, and even now my head goes to the moon and stars at times. I get wrapped up in the stars, I forget I am on the ground.

Love must be something else, because I feel the kiss of his lips fading and my mind is still alive, yet my heart is hurting. Love must not be the feeling of tears rolling down my cheek once again. The heart wants intimacy, and the brain wants true love. The tug between these two is tremendously exhausting and confusing. Real love is having someone who will support you, who can build a life with you, share the same values, morals, and direction of life. Intimacy, or lust, is so fleeting - it leaves you feeling empty and confused.

I know this now and I have learned the hard way. But every so often I still slip into the dangerous tale of confusing intimacy with love. And my heart cant take it.